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The Woes of a Pantaphobic

18 Jun

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http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/daily-prompt-jump/

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to? What would have to happen to make you comfortable taking it?

An entry in the diary of Ardith Pentenger, eccentric widow and heiress to a rather unimpressive estate.

I recall my third grade teacher, Miss Tullyfuttle, asking our class what we all wished to be when we became adults.  Some said teachers, others said policemen or firemen.  I remember distinctly thinking of exactly what I wished to be.  I wished, though some would find it odd, to be afraid of at least one thing.  Alas, in all these many years of adulthood, it has yet to come true.

I don’t think people can fully understand the hardships someone like me experiences.  For most, having my condition would seem like a dream, almost an alien superpower.  However, I have experienced it to be, for the most part, a burden and a weakness.

I shall put it simply: being a pantaphobic is not all it’s cracked up to be.

Oh, I know it’s silly, (that’s what makes it such fun), but I often relax in my favorite sitting chair, lean my head back, close my eyes and dream of having some great fear of something.

Just think of it, what about if I was an agoraphobic, wouldn’t that be splendid!  Why then I wouldn’t be forced to attend all those Broadway plays and rhythm and blues concerts with Edith and Lucille.

Or, even better, what if I was an anthropophobic, then I wouldn’t have to see Edith and Lucille at all!

Then there’s always altophobia.  This would come in handy when my children want me to fly out west for a visit.

Or, if I had osmophobia, I would have a ready excuse to avoid Frank and his horrible breath.

Yet, no matter how much I wish I am unafraid.  I fear nothing.  This is my sad lot in life.  If only I had a fear or two, I could find an excuse to stay home, alone with my feet kicked up watching television or reading an old book.

Well, I have to go now dear diary.  The phone is ringing and I am sure it is Frank calling to ask me on a date.  If only I had a case of phonophobia, I could just let the blasted thing ring.

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4 Comments

Posted by on June 18, 2013 in Daily Prompt

 

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4 responses to “The Woes of a Pantaphobic

  1. mgadelmawla

    June 18, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    I love the picture!

     
  2. Dagny

    June 19, 2013 at 12:52 am

    I hear you Timothy. Sad indeed. In fact, I’d go so far as to call it cruel. Tsk.

     

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