Photo by DTL on Morgue File.
When was the last time you were embarrassed? How do you react to embarrassment?
I am not sure the last time I was embarrassed. I am sure I have been embarrassed recently, perhaps even a few times, but I just cannot recall an instance at the moment. When you are an introvert, as I am, you are used to situations that can cause some embarrassment.
I remember growing up, I use to hate to be called out in the classroom and have everyone look at me. I do not mean called out in the sense of reprimanding me, though that did happen I am sure, but just for any reason. Maybe the teacher called my name to come to her desk to pick up an assignment; or, maybe I had been sick and missed a couple of days of school and she asked me how I was feeling. Basically, anything that centered the attention on me, whether good or bad or sympathetic or indifferent, caused me embarrassment.
I remember once, when I was in 8th or 9th grade, a teacher confused another student for me. We did not look all that much alike, so I am not sure why she confused us, but she did. So, there she is talking to him, as if he were me, for two or three minutes. Of course, all the students in the class knew she had us confused. So, while she is ribbing him about something or the other concerning me, all the other students are looking at me. I felt like jumping out of the window!
I have made a post about my refusal to recite poems in front of the class. If you missed that post you can read it HERE.
As I have gotten older, I have learned to handle these situations with a bit more grace. Or, at least, I have gotten a lot better at acting calm and collected!
That reminds me of another episode from my childhood; trust me, I have oodles I could share! I was with my mother and we knew a certain singing group was in town recording a new record. So, we waited for them to wrap up their session so we could get an autograph or two. I wanted one of the singers autograph in particular, but of course I was not about to go up to him and ask him for it! So, my mother did the dirty work. Sure enough, here comes the very guy, she goes up to him and introduces herself and tells him her young son would like his autograph. She told him this thinking I was right behind her. She moved over a bit to allow this gentleman to see her young son standing behind her. The only problem was her young son was nowhere to be found! I had made a beeline for the car or a bush or something and was hiding behind it!
I tend not to do well in those type of situations!
I once played a softball game, (now here is a disclaimer, I am by no means, even on my best days a great softball player), for a church league team. It is an embarrassing fact, but true, that I struck out three out of three at bats! Now, if you know much about softball, and yes this was the slow pitch variety, you know that very rarely does anyone strike out . . . however, I managed the feat, not once, not twice, but three times in one game! Why? Had I never hit a softball before? Am I really lacking that much athletic ability? I don’t think so. The real problem for me was I was completely freaked out by the fact that the entire other team, out in the field, were all staring at me as I was at bat! I could not even think about hitting the ball from being freaked out by all of them watching me! (The next game I did a little better . . . I did not strike out at all, I actually hit into a fielder’s choice and got one base hit!)
So yes, I have turned red many a time. I have felt the uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment more than I care to mention.
These are things that sometimes happen when you throw an intolerable introvert into an extroverted world! Come to think of that, I do not believe I have ever, not even once, been embarrassed in a library!